I am writing this while drinking oregano tea. Yes, the Rona got me some time back, when I was sick, and I’m in the clear now, it seems, but I keep hacking up escargot and having bouts of coughing here and there. So I’m drinking this swill. With Ginger. FAK.
It’s nice and cool in Miami right now. Rains come and go, now there is a breeze, and the sun is out nicely. This is when it’s worth living here. The rest of the time, it is living on the sun watching the shadow of your bones through your skin against the light, as the devil breath kiss your taint because you are THAT close to hell.
As you read this on Sunday, be it in the warmth of your bed or kitchen while contemplating or eating Breakfast, I will most likely be fueled by caffeine already, working the OTAKUFEST convention at the MACC selling goods for Goblins Heist. This is the way.
I try not to reminisce any more. Sometimes I’m knee-deep in contemplation, most of the time of things that are long gone and probably long forgotten except by me. The minor slights, the dumbest embarrassments, often it’s not the big things, like love or relationships, but things like I should have told her to fuck off earlier, and Man, I was a dick to that guy stuff like that. Past hardships, small things I could have done differently, efforts I should have never done, and things I should have said yes to.
There is a narrative nowadays that preys upon this. I think it is linked to the laziness of the human condition or the mental mindset that sits with the easiest way out. Lizard brain, maybe, but the need for the most straightforward thing out there comes to mind. Even looking back, we try to see the GOOD OLD DAYS.
That’s an illusion to make yourself feel better.
Nostalgia is bullshit.
They never really were any good old days, but just this romanticized new outlook on a previous situation. That girl was maybe an asshole, but you were along for the ride. That guy was a douche of a friend, but you wanted him to like you so bad. You didn’t ask out that girl because you were a chicken shit, not that she was some unattainable angle. That job was in your wheelhouse. You were just a chicken shit. You should have shut the fuck up about your opinion on that and let the fake asshole hire you or promote you. Etc. Etc.
We never blame ourselves. We never look at our hands as they are connected to our body in a sense. We look back and say it was this or that, one excuse or another. And if we are LYING to ourselves, we compare now to then and say that it’s now that it’s hard and then it was easy, now when it sucks, and it was so awesome back then, now we can’t do it, but could’ve at that time.
And we have whole industries making that a real thing, a whole bunch of people selling us this bullshit and telling us true. No fuck that.
Your childhood was all right because you blocked out all the bullshit you couldn’t do and how much of sniveling little fag you were. Your parents did their best with you, but you a shit kid with shit for brains.
Your teen years are okay, but you had no guts and never took a challenge and rested on your laurels, and when you did act out, it was to get laid and fuck over your friends and lie to make you seem bigger
Your college years were average, and your highs in that time were because YOU WERE HIGH, and you were lucky to get what you got.
And so on.
Yes, this seems harsh, and it’s not addressed to anyone but myself. When I get nostalgic, it’s a take I tell myself to snap it out. In all reality, I’ve had a charmed life. But when that ugliness comes around that dwells in us, and we start going down that range of thinking, I use it to reel myself back in.
The best time? RIGHT NOW. This moment. This instant. NOW. This is the most blessed time, not even when you read the beginning of this sentence. Here. Now. Crack a smile. You just found one of those nuggets of truth philosophers work years to know. They work to understand NOW.
So what are you going to do with it?
Here is what I’m doing:
Digging that COMICS BEAT is doing a YEAR OF FREE COMICS like an article on Webcomics and such. I was thinking, who is doing WEBCOMICS JOURNALISM out there? Who can’t point us towards some good comics online? here is the answer. Is nobody doing this in video form online? Does anybody know? This is a huge missed opportunity, I think.
I recently learned about Jeffrey Catherine Jones, an American artist whose work is best known from the late 1960s through the 2000s. Jones created the cover art for over 150 books through 1976 and ventured into fine art during and after this time. Fantasy artist Frank Frazetta called Jones “the greatest living painter.” I’ve seen some covers before, but now taking the deep dive, I’m amazed at the atmosphere and technique found in “her” paintings. (I say in quotes because I am still not sure if Jeffrey was trans or not. If anything, it could be the reason why we don’t know about their work, and that is ridiculous.)
I’m not linking much because I was just deep diving to find out more and haven’t found the main page of her work yet, but this article in Heavy Metal pointed the way for me.
Started banging out more scripts and projects, got a calendar going, and feel a better grip on the road. If I want real change with my comics, I need to mess myself up here. I know someone here is saying, “No, don’t!” but I think I have to push harder now. I’m always trying to find, not so much the easier way out, but the most cohesive or, better said, a better way, and sometimes, there is nothing more than DOING THE WORK.
So then let’s do it!
FWACATA ANTHOLOGY: Still lettering, banging out pages for the MEATHOOK short (see last week’s PATREON OR SUBSTACK) REZ I have to finish the rewrites, but that will be done soon and then lettering. I have to reach out to a local RISOPRINTER and see about getting the initial issue of the series, so that will be cool. I’ll run the numbers and show you SUBSCRIBERS guys to compare notes.
PODCAST: Have an idea to set up some interviews and do some setups. I’m at Otakufest and thought I could do some excellent stuff here, but many folks are douches, at least guest-wise, that I’d rather not talk to. Had better conversations in the hallways and outside.
NEW IDEA but going down the same idea of writing this series. Cowboys and Magic sort of thing. There is a western version of Demon Slayer with a good amount of Spaghetti Western. Hmm. For sure.
THE STORE: As you read this, I will either be knee-deep in OTAKUFEST, either wrapping up Sunday or just starting. GOBLINS MARKET is happening next week because I don’t have ENOUGH TO DO, but I needed these community-based activities to help liven the store, and they have worked great.
GOBLIN FEST is on the docket, thinking of finding a way to stream it live. May collaborate. I am seeing about music. More info soon.
PERSONAL: Contagion is gone, unless OTAKUCRON gets me, so then? THE GYM. I was just going over the workout plans with GF. This will be … interesting.
I watched PEACEKEEPER: HILARIOUS, and I dug it, it has all the James Gunn insanity and dark humor I enjoy from him.
Back to Drawing then. Comics will not make themselves.